Recently, I’ve taken up sport climbing (by recent I mean in the last month or so…)
Somehow, it’s a sport that’s really clicked. Maybe it reminds me so much of all the monkeying around in elementary school… back to the days when the mentality was “if there is something in front of you, it can likely be climbed on” (…trees, walls, fences, poles…rocks…sorry neighbours!).
It’s clicked so well that even my thought process alludes itself to climbing. Recently…it’s been confusing. So as per every confusing climb, I shut the world out and thought.
Before you start, you stand and look at the goal at the top. You can map out the beginning of the route, but soon it all seems too far – too far out of reach, to see properly, to plan properly.
Still you take a deep breath and start the climb, one careful step at a time. Up and up, towards that ultimate goal. You run into a dead end…take a side step….take a step down….try again.
Until you reach a point where it just hurts. It hurts to reach, it hurts to hold on, and it hurts even more to let go and fall.
Until it feels like a lifetime that you’ve been clinging on.
Until you realise letting go isn’t that hard. You won’t fall far because there’s someone holding you; and even if there wasn’t, you’ll always get back up to climb again.
And at that moment you wonder to yourself why you hung on so hard in the first place…. because in the end, that’s what made you hurt the most.
Still…when you look back up at that goal….it hurts knowing you were so close.
….yet so far.