What If?

Recently, I’ve caught myself wondering about that a lot.  What if….?

Dare I say that perhaps, if I had chosen differently in the first place….
But even as I lie here thinking what would’ve happened, I understand myself just a little bit more.  Looking back, I now know that in all it’s cliche-ness, it wasn’t him, it was me.  I wasn’t ready for it.  How could I have been, when I was tossed aside so easily?  When I couldn’t look in the mirror anymore because it was a stranger staring back at me?  How could someone get to know me, when I was only a shadow?

Everything happened for a reason…I know it.  I believe it.  Still, sometimes these reasons are a bitter pill to swallow.
Yet because there has been so much bitter, the sweet is that much sweeter.

Nat told me that nothing’s impossible, and any barrier can be overcome.  Makes me smile and think of how he was there when I just really needed to get away from it all.

Side note.  The Canucks lost the cup tonight. Game 7. As much as it breaks my heart, I cannot say I was surprised.  When they decided to start Luongo, I already let that dream go.  Next year, boys.  I’m still so very proud of every accomplishment you’ve made, and ever so thankful for bringing me back to the dream.  Hank, Danny…no words; your love and enthusiasm for the game inspires…the fact that you do what you do and still stay as classy as you do?  It warms my heart and makes me proud. Love you both!

Still believe in you!

++

They say I’m always happy; I say I’m excellent at wearing a mask.

How well do you know me?

.x.o.

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